T he first time I ever had sex with a woman, I remember being overwhelmed — and not in the way I had expected. It even gave me a newfound empathy for the plight of your average heterosexual male, inwardly sighing that his partner might be ready to go at it again already. Then I smugly counted my XY fortune. Back in my days as a professional dominatrix, one of my most popular services was the ruined orgasm: bringing a man — or letting him bring himself — quickly to the point of climax, causing ejaculation without the muscle-spasming respite of a full-bodied orgasmic release. I never had a female client — nor met a woman since — who was into ruined orgasms. Lesbians, though, reportedly have less trouble reaching orgasm than straight or bi women.
Straight Men Must Learn From Lesbians When It Comes To Giving Orgasms
Straight Men Must Learn From Lesbians When It Comes To Giving Orgasms | HuffPost Canada
Something that I know plagues straight people, but has recently been coming up as a concern in gayladyland, is whether or not two women can have simultaneous orgasms, and then people trying real hard to make it happen. So yes, you can have simultaneous orgasms with your girlfriend, it is an achievable thing, but here are a few reasons why you may want to reconsider framing it as the sexiest thing that ever happened to anybody. Two people do not get to an identical place of being turned on, being turned on by the same things, and have the exact same physiological response to the same kind of stimulation at the same time. People, and especially lesbians, aspire to this out of a desire for intense connectedness, but the reality is that your level of interconnectedness at any moment does not mean you are experiencing the same thing at the same time. Even if the two of you are going for a walk holding hands and enjoying the pretty view and the sunshine, you are still not experiencing the same thing, because you are not the same person. Sex only makes the points of connection and disconnection more infinite.
Lesbians know the secret to the best orgasms you’re not having
Study after study shows that women in same-sex relationships are having more orgasms than any other women. One survey of 55, people found that while 86 per cent of lesbians always or usually orgasm during sex, the same was only true for 66 per cent of bisexual women and 65 per cent of straight women. It's important to note that orgasm is not the end goal for everyone having sex, and that's totally fine. Some people are asexual, some are anorgasmic and some people just aren't that bothered about having one. They get something else out of the sexual experience and that's great.
Photo by Mosuno via Stocksy. According to a study published in in the Archives of Sexual Behavior , lesbians confirm the so-called "elusive female orgasm" is really not that hard to find. There's plenty of research literature and women's magazine articles that suggest men orgasm more often than women. A team of researchers from Chapman University and the Kinsey Institute, however, took their investigation into orgasm frequency a step further by seeing how often gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals, in addition to straight men and women, report climaxing. It's only the second study on orgasm frequency to recruit a large sample of gay, lesbian and bisexual women.